[ peggy doesn't find any pleasure in watching his eyes widen. nor in hearing his silence stretch, like a living thing, between them in the moments following her long-belated confession. 'important' is such a slippery word, and it sneaks into their vernacular like a stand-in for something neither of them has yet managed to articulate.
just as well. whatever it is, peggy's not ready to call it what it is. what it might be.
and perhaps rip is correct to call her on her cowardice. she is afraid -- unwilling to put either him or herself on the line once more for what will only ever be a transient arrangement. he calls it a tragedy waiting to happen, but the cynic in her suspects the tragedy has already transpired. it was birthed in a moment much like this one, because the way he touches her cheek is hauntingly alike to the way she'd adjusted his collar pin once they'd finished dancing.
a liberty taken; a detail fixed. and peggy's eyes harden because while he protests that he's no schoolboy -- and not least of all because it's never occurred to her to think so little of his feelings. after all, they'd shored her up through the altercation with her shadow. without him and his support, she might have succumbed to fighting the thing. it wouldn't have ended well. then again, neither will this.
even so. she allows him the brush of his fingers. her mouth twitches into an uneasy line even as her head turns toward rip's touch. the motion isn't dramatic -- barely more than a minor correction, maybe, but it nevertheless measures as momentum in his direction. and that's why she frowns, as if she's disappointed in her own constitution.
it's become staggeringly obvious to peggy that she has allowed him too deep behind her walls. too often, she's let him see the toll taken by her regrets. it's a note he's often heard in her voice and it's that note he plucks right now. she's being called upon to weigh one regret against the other, choose the one she can better live with, and thereby make her bad barter. ]
No. [ peggy lays two fingers against his wrist, gently redirecting rip's hand before the warmth of his touch proves too diverting. as it had already had about, oh, seven minutes prior. ] But only because, just now, there's very little I find I'm sure of.
[ except she's sure of her instinct -- even when she doesn't like what her instinct is telling her. but she remembers once asking someone, someone who also rated the word important, whether it was imperative he settle for only two options. have, or have not. zeroes, or ones.
peggy doesn't let his wrist go. instead, her grip settles like a buffer between them. something to inoculate them both against any escalation. fingers turned inward against the architecture of his wrist, far enough along the arm so that she can't be accused of holding his hand. ]
I am sorry. [ has she apologized for anything, thus far? surely not in earnest. but it happens now -- although it feels like pulling teeth and it makes her stomach knot. ] Not for not showing up, mind you. [ implying, perhaps, that she still stands by that call. ] But...for the radio silence.
no subject
just as well. whatever it is, peggy's not ready to call it what it is. what it might be.
and perhaps rip is correct to call her on her cowardice. she is afraid -- unwilling to put either him or herself on the line once more for what will only ever be a transient arrangement. he calls it a tragedy waiting to happen, but the cynic in her suspects the tragedy has already transpired. it was birthed in a moment much like this one, because the way he touches her cheek is hauntingly alike to the way she'd adjusted his collar pin once they'd finished dancing.
a liberty taken; a detail fixed. and peggy's eyes harden because while he protests that he's no schoolboy -- and not least of all because it's never occurred to her to think so little of his feelings. after all, they'd shored her up through the altercation with her shadow. without him and his support, she might have succumbed to fighting the thing. it wouldn't have ended well. then again, neither will this.
even so. she allows him the brush of his fingers. her mouth twitches into an uneasy line even as her head turns toward rip's touch. the motion isn't dramatic -- barely more than a minor correction, maybe, but it nevertheless measures as momentum in his direction. and that's why she frowns, as if she's disappointed in her own constitution.
it's become staggeringly obvious to peggy that she has allowed him too deep behind her walls. too often, she's let him see the toll taken by her regrets. it's a note he's often heard in her voice and it's that note he plucks right now. she's being called upon to weigh one regret against the other, choose the one she can better live with, and thereby make her bad barter. ]
No. [ peggy lays two fingers against his wrist, gently redirecting rip's hand before the warmth of his touch proves too diverting. as it had already had about, oh, seven minutes prior. ] But only because, just now, there's very little I find I'm sure of.
[ except she's sure of her instinct -- even when she doesn't like what her instinct is telling her. but she remembers once asking someone, someone who also rated the word important, whether it was imperative he settle for only two options. have, or have not. zeroes, or ones.
peggy doesn't let his wrist go. instead, her grip settles like a buffer between them. something to inoculate them both against any escalation. fingers turned inward against the architecture of his wrist, far enough along the arm so that she can't be accused of holding his hand. ]
I am sorry. [ has she apologized for anything, thus far? surely not in earnest. but it happens now -- although it feels like pulling teeth and it makes her stomach knot. ] Not for not showing up, mind you. [ implying, perhaps, that she still stands by that call. ] But...for the radio silence.
[ i'm sorry. ]